Showing posts with label holidays. Show all posts
Showing posts with label holidays. Show all posts

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Thanksgiving


"I fucking hate this holiday."



Only white people would pretend that in a history full of exploitation, horror, and murder that something like Thanksgiving represents our relationship with American Indians.


Thanksgiving should really be called "HAPPY SMALLPOX BLANKETS DAY, NATIVE AMERICANS. HOPE YOU LIKE THE DESERT BECAUSE THAT'S WHERE WE'RE SENDING YOU. GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR FUTURE CASINOS."

Also, our romanticizing of the pilgrims is epically fucked. These people found England not conservative enough. England. The place that invented Colin Firth and all the other tight-lipped British types. The place that couldn't cry until Princess Di died. That's hundreds of years of repression. AND THE PILGRIMS THOUGHT IT WASN'T ENOUGH.


Anyway, white people need to stop pretending that Thanksgiving was a happy day and dressing our children up in epically fucked representations of American Indians. Let's all just eat until we puke and hang out with people we don't really like. That's what Thanksgiving is really about.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

We Ruin Christmas



While I'm not 100% sure whether or not this commercial was, in fact, the result of the demented fantasies of a Caucasian, I am 100% sure that this piece of shit a.) features a whole lot of whiteys, b.) was most likely developed solely by white people and c.) the Gap caters almost exclusively to the palest fucking crowd this side of Abercrombie.


So fuck you, Gap. Thanks for ruining Christmas, you cracker bastards.